Saturday, November 17, 2007
Wierdest Thing | Marjorie Riches
I was thinking about what I could possibly write about the wierdest thing that has ever happened to me. At first I had the same reaction as the girl in class who said that nothing wierd ever happens to her, but then I thought a little more and realized that I have so many wierd things, I couldn't possible choose one. My life is the wierdest thing ever! I could write my entire life story down and someone would read it and think, whoa, who is this girl. She must be some kind of freak show or something. But without doing that, I will simply touch on one of the many wierd things that has happened in my life. In the beginning of my junior year of high school, I dated a kid named LJ. I had had a huge crush on him for as long as I could remember. He was so dreamy! Well we were dating, or "going out" as we called it in high school for about three weeks. He and I would hang out with my best friend Jessica all of the time, and when I was at work he and Jessica would hang out. I never thought anything of it, the three of us had hung out all the time before that. Then one day, I found out that he was sleeping with Jessica. I was furious and didn't talk to either of them for a really long time. Then, one day not long after this, I heard a rumor that he was gay. I had to find out so I asked him. He confirmed it and i couldn't help but laugh. Lots of girls would feel like they had turned a guy gay if they were the last girl that he dated, but I thought it was hilarious. I may have been the last girl that he dated, but Jessica was the last girl that he slept with.
Invincible
Have you ever had moments when you thought that you were invincible? Nothing could touch you, no bad thing would ever happen, simply because you were you. If you are thinking right now that you have never had one of these moments, think again. Think back to when you were in high school and I’m sure that you will remember at least one such incident. You see, thinking you are invincible seems to come with the role of being a teenager. I, for one, never thought that I was invincible, I knew that I was. At least I did until one fateful summer day when I was sixteen.
This day started out like any other, a sunny Saturday. I was hanging out with my amazingly dreamy friend Danny. He was tall and well built with strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that could melt even the most popular freshman’s heart. I was not a freshman, but I sometimes wished that I was just so it would be ok for me to ogle at him like he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. This was not ok for a junior, and I would deny it to the grave if anyone ever tried to expose my secret desire.
Well, on this particular day, Danny and I were going to a church youth activity. We did this a lot, in fact this day was as typical as a day could get. Danny drove us from his house to the activity in his little blue junker car. We quickly realized as we drove past the lawn by the church that this was going to be a very active activity. We watched our friends running and dodging each other, some of them standing in one spot waiting for someone to rescue them from their prison.
After parking in the lot around the side of the church, I left my purse in the car because I had no desire to lug it around as I was running away from my pursuers. I wanted to be on top of my game. Unfortunately, not bringing my purse left us in quite the predicament. We didn’t have anywhere to put the keys. Danny was wearing basketball shorts so he delegated me key person because my jeans had pockets. It was obvious that he knew nothing about girl pants, so I informed him politely that the pockets on my jeans were made simply for fashion, not for holding things. This seemed to make sense to him so he thought for a minute, deciding that we would leave the keys in the glove box and leave the car unlocked. We were, of course, invincible.
Danny looked at me as he put the keys in the car and decided to console the fear that was not showing on my face by telling me, “Nothing ever happens here. The car will be fine.” I rolled my eyes in agreement. I already knew that, who did he think I was?
After closing his door, Danny and I hurried over to the lawn and joined our friends in the intensely thrilling game.
It wasn’t long before everyone else got bored with freeze tag and decided that they wanted to play Ultimate Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee seems to be one of those games that all of the high school kids want to play because it makes them feel cool. It makes them feel all grown up, like college kids. It’s funny how playing a game can make you feel like something you aren’t. Danny had a Frisbee in his car though, and ran off to grab it as the rest of us sat down on the grass to take a breather. After a few minutes, Danny came back, empty handed.
“Where’s the Frisbee?” I asked him, curious about why his face had suddenly turned an unflattering shade of brick red.
“Gone,” he stated matter of factly, “The Frisbee is gone and the car is gone.” I began to laugh, knowing that he was joking, but no one else was laughing.
Our friend Trent, who always seemed to take control in sticky situations, stood up quickly and began giving orders, “Danny, you call the police, then follow me. Margie, you come too.” Danny was dumbfounded and had no idea what actions to take so he readily obeyed. He called the police and stated his problem, this time a little more urgently. I guess he had realized that they may not believe him if he said it as he had to us. Maybe the police would be as insensitive as I was and laugh at him. I can be a little clueless sometimes.
I now knew that our situation was serious though, so I followed dutifully behind Trent and Danny as we walked briskly to Trent’s dad’s black GMC truck and hopped in. Trent pulled out of the parking lot like a madman, the tires squealing for sympathy. He gunned it up the main street of our town, and although I couldn’t see the speedometer, I could tell from the angry faces of the people in the cars that we were passing that he was going just a little over the speed limit, and by a little, I mean a lot. On the bright side, if we got pulled over, we could let the cops know to be on the lookout for Danny’s car.
We sped along in silence for what seemed like an eternity (although we hadn’t even made it once down the street) when suddenly Danny erupted in a squeal that should never leave the lips of a male.
“My Car! Follow it!”
Sure enough, his car was passing us going the other way. Trent pulled an illegal u-turn and tore after it. We were in a real car chase. I was worried about Danny’s car, I really was, but I couldn’t help thinking about how cool it was that we were in a car chase just like what you see in the movies. We lunged after the car as the driver turned quickly into the back parking lot of Sam’s Club. Little did the thief know that this would turn out to be his downfall. Trent sped up, gaining on Danny’s little car. Just as the parking lot was coming to an end, we closed in on the car, pulling up beside it and edging it slowly toward the wall of the building. The driver of the little car gave in as he got dangerously close to colliding with the wall and slowed down to a stop. We pulled ahead of him, preventing him from starting up again, and piled out of the truck. Of course, none of us stopped to consider the fact that a bunch of teenagers probably wouldn’t scare an armed robber.
As we carefully approached the car we saw that our “armed robbers” were two teenage guys, probably barely fourteen. They stared blankly at us for a minute, than submissively got out of the car. As they faced us, one on either side of the car, they started cracking up. It was obvious that they had either been smoking something or were mentally unstable. As the passenger joined the driver on our side of the car, we learned that they had, indeed, been smoking something and that he was still clinging to the joint as though it were life itself. We looked at the pair of stoners, wondering if they even realized that they had stolen a car, and decided to inform them of their crime. As we told them that they had stolen a car, they burst out laughing again. We could tell that this conversation wasn’t going to get us anywhere so Trent called the cops and they came to take care of the young culprits. The young men continued to cackle as they were shoved in the back of the police car.
It was all over. Danny had to stay and answer some questions with the police while Trent and I decided to go back to the youth activity. It was odd how the rest of the day was so normal. No one asked about the amazing adventure we had just had, or even if Danny had found his car. They all seemed oblivious to the fact that we had been in a car chase and caught some criminals. So we simply went on playing freeze tag. Eventually Danny showed up and joined the game. He brought his keys with him this time, and clung to them as he ran around the lawn. He had learned that he wasn’t invincible, and from that day forward, he never would be. I, on the other hand, wasn’t convinced, and spent the rest of my teenage years testing the boundaries of invincibility.
This day started out like any other, a sunny Saturday. I was hanging out with my amazingly dreamy friend Danny. He was tall and well built with strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that could melt even the most popular freshman’s heart. I was not a freshman, but I sometimes wished that I was just so it would be ok for me to ogle at him like he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. This was not ok for a junior, and I would deny it to the grave if anyone ever tried to expose my secret desire.
Well, on this particular day, Danny and I were going to a church youth activity. We did this a lot, in fact this day was as typical as a day could get. Danny drove us from his house to the activity in his little blue junker car. We quickly realized as we drove past the lawn by the church that this was going to be a very active activity. We watched our friends running and dodging each other, some of them standing in one spot waiting for someone to rescue them from their prison.
After parking in the lot around the side of the church, I left my purse in the car because I had no desire to lug it around as I was running away from my pursuers. I wanted to be on top of my game. Unfortunately, not bringing my purse left us in quite the predicament. We didn’t have anywhere to put the keys. Danny was wearing basketball shorts so he delegated me key person because my jeans had pockets. It was obvious that he knew nothing about girl pants, so I informed him politely that the pockets on my jeans were made simply for fashion, not for holding things. This seemed to make sense to him so he thought for a minute, deciding that we would leave the keys in the glove box and leave the car unlocked. We were, of course, invincible.
Danny looked at me as he put the keys in the car and decided to console the fear that was not showing on my face by telling me, “Nothing ever happens here. The car will be fine.” I rolled my eyes in agreement. I already knew that, who did he think I was?
After closing his door, Danny and I hurried over to the lawn and joined our friends in the intensely thrilling game.
It wasn’t long before everyone else got bored with freeze tag and decided that they wanted to play Ultimate Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee seems to be one of those games that all of the high school kids want to play because it makes them feel cool. It makes them feel all grown up, like college kids. It’s funny how playing a game can make you feel like something you aren’t. Danny had a Frisbee in his car though, and ran off to grab it as the rest of us sat down on the grass to take a breather. After a few minutes, Danny came back, empty handed.
“Where’s the Frisbee?” I asked him, curious about why his face had suddenly turned an unflattering shade of brick red.
“Gone,” he stated matter of factly, “The Frisbee is gone and the car is gone.” I began to laugh, knowing that he was joking, but no one else was laughing.
Our friend Trent, who always seemed to take control in sticky situations, stood up quickly and began giving orders, “Danny, you call the police, then follow me. Margie, you come too.” Danny was dumbfounded and had no idea what actions to take so he readily obeyed. He called the police and stated his problem, this time a little more urgently. I guess he had realized that they may not believe him if he said it as he had to us. Maybe the police would be as insensitive as I was and laugh at him. I can be a little clueless sometimes.
I now knew that our situation was serious though, so I followed dutifully behind Trent and Danny as we walked briskly to Trent’s dad’s black GMC truck and hopped in. Trent pulled out of the parking lot like a madman, the tires squealing for sympathy. He gunned it up the main street of our town, and although I couldn’t see the speedometer, I could tell from the angry faces of the people in the cars that we were passing that he was going just a little over the speed limit, and by a little, I mean a lot. On the bright side, if we got pulled over, we could let the cops know to be on the lookout for Danny’s car.
We sped along in silence for what seemed like an eternity (although we hadn’t even made it once down the street) when suddenly Danny erupted in a squeal that should never leave the lips of a male.
“My Car! Follow it!”
Sure enough, his car was passing us going the other way. Trent pulled an illegal u-turn and tore after it. We were in a real car chase. I was worried about Danny’s car, I really was, but I couldn’t help thinking about how cool it was that we were in a car chase just like what you see in the movies. We lunged after the car as the driver turned quickly into the back parking lot of Sam’s Club. Little did the thief know that this would turn out to be his downfall. Trent sped up, gaining on Danny’s little car. Just as the parking lot was coming to an end, we closed in on the car, pulling up beside it and edging it slowly toward the wall of the building. The driver of the little car gave in as he got dangerously close to colliding with the wall and slowed down to a stop. We pulled ahead of him, preventing him from starting up again, and piled out of the truck. Of course, none of us stopped to consider the fact that a bunch of teenagers probably wouldn’t scare an armed robber.
As we carefully approached the car we saw that our “armed robbers” were two teenage guys, probably barely fourteen. They stared blankly at us for a minute, than submissively got out of the car. As they faced us, one on either side of the car, they started cracking up. It was obvious that they had either been smoking something or were mentally unstable. As the passenger joined the driver on our side of the car, we learned that they had, indeed, been smoking something and that he was still clinging to the joint as though it were life itself. We looked at the pair of stoners, wondering if they even realized that they had stolen a car, and decided to inform them of their crime. As we told them that they had stolen a car, they burst out laughing again. We could tell that this conversation wasn’t going to get us anywhere so Trent called the cops and they came to take care of the young culprits. The young men continued to cackle as they were shoved in the back of the police car.
It was all over. Danny had to stay and answer some questions with the police while Trent and I decided to go back to the youth activity. It was odd how the rest of the day was so normal. No one asked about the amazing adventure we had just had, or even if Danny had found his car. They all seemed oblivious to the fact that we had been in a car chase and caught some criminals. So we simply went on playing freeze tag. Eventually Danny showed up and joined the game. He brought his keys with him this time, and clung to them as he ran around the lawn. He had learned that he wasn’t invincible, and from that day forward, he never would be. I, on the other hand, wasn’t convinced, and spent the rest of my teenage years testing the boundaries of invincibility.
Friday, November 2, 2007
The Distraction | Marjorie Riches
Scene 1
A college apartment in Utah. A door stage left leads into a living room. The kitchen and bathroom also show on stage. A hall leads off stage right. Two college roommates, Alexis and Joanna live in this apartment. It is the year 2006 at the beginning of the school year. Lights come up on ALEXIS who is in the apartment now, looking for something.
ALEXIS
(Searching the bathroom)
Joanna! Did you borrow my eyeliner again? I can’t find it…Joanna!
(Exits the bathroom, looking around the apartment)
Where did she go? She’s never around when I need her. I don’t even know why she borrows my eyeliner. No one can see her eyes behind those huge, ugly glasses.
JOANNA
(Enter stage left)
ALEXIS
There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for my eyeliner. Did you take it again?
JOANNA
Did you check the second drawer down in the bathroom where you left it yesterday?
ALEXIS
Of course I did, I’m not stupid.
JOANNA
Well I didn’t take it, so I’m sorry but I guess you will just have to keep looking.
(Exit stage left)
ALEXIS
(Sarcastically)
Thanks for the help. I don’t know why she even comes home at all if she is just going to leave again. I swear, she doesn’t even live here anymore. I wonder when she’ll just move out completely and start staying at the library permanently, building a house out of her precious books. I don’t know how she studies as much as she does. I would think she would be going insane by now. I do know that she’s never going to find a guy if she keeps acting like this. Not that any guy would see beyond her glasses anyways. If she would just try…
(Wander into the bathroom and open the second drawer. Shake head while pulling out the eyeliner and beginning to apply it)
Lights Fade slowly. End Scene.
Scene 2
A college classroom on the first day of school. The PROFESSOR is writing on the board. Students are chatting. ALEXIS is sitting next to EVERETT.
ALEXIS
(To Everett)
Hi, I’m Joanna.
EVERETT
(Looking at Joanna, smiling)
Everett.
ALEXIS
Are you a freshman?
EVERETT
No, I just have to take this class because my advisor forgot to mention that I needed it to graduate. I only have a few classes left this semester before I’m done.
ALEXIS
(Flirting)
Oh, I didn’t think you were a freshman. You are way too cute to be a freshman. I’m not one either.
EVERETT
Oh cool, what’s your major?
ALEXIS
(Pause for a moment, thinking. Hesitantly)
Ummm..it’s...English?
EVERETT
Are you sure about that?
(Laughs)
But your major is English? That’s rough. I can’t stand English. I want to teach high school math.
ALEXIS
Math? Eeeeeew. I hate math! But maybe you can tutor me… I have a math class this semester.
EVERETT
Oh really? Which one?
ALEXIS
1010, I just have to get it done so I can get my generals out of the way.
EVERETT
Well, I can definitely help you with that class.
(Laughs)
But only if you help me with English.
ALEXIS
(Hands Everett a piece of pink paper)
Anytime, here’s my number. Call me if you want to hang out sometime. Oh, and if you need help with English.
PROFESSOR
(Turning to face the class)
I hope everyone got the notes. Have a good day. I’ll see you all on Wednesday.
All students exit stage right. End Scene.
Scene 3
Back in the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS and JOANNA are in the kitchen. JOANNA is cooking dinner. ALEXIS is sitting on a bench by the table talking on her cell phone.
ALEXIS
(On the phone)
Oh my gosh…I know…I know! Ok sweetie well I will see you tomorrow. Take care and tell that boyfriend of yours that he better be nice to you.
(Laughs)
Love ya! Bye!
(To Joanna)
Oh my gosh Joanna, you have to hear about my day. So I met this guy in my communications class and he is so cute. He’s graduating this year and wants to teach math. Can you believe that? I think he’s crazy, but he is so dang cute and he said he would tutor me in math if I helped him with English!
JOANNA
(Putting a pan in the oven)
English? I didn’t know that you liked English. I thought you hated it last semester.
ALEXIS
I do, but I told him I was an English major because I didn’t want to sound stupid and tell him that don’t know what I want to do. I know the basics. I mean all that you have to do is put words on paper with little marks right! He is just so cute. I couldn’t help it.
JOANNA
Well good luck with that. You really should tell him that you aren’t an English major before you make a fool of yourself. I’m sure he would rather know the truth, and besides, you don’t want to make yourself look stupid in front of him, right?
ALEXIS
Ouch. I can be smart when I want to be. I just choose to have fun instead of trying to get smart all the time. But in a case like this, it’s the only option I have for hanging out with an adorable guy. I can be smart for that. And besides Joanna, I won’t need to be super book smart when I get married. Then I will have a husband to support me and will only have to worry about making my house all cute.
JOANNA
Well have you ever thought that there is the possibility you might not get married? It is a possibility you know. I’m not married yet and I’m 28. I’m working on my PhD because I have realized that getting married just isn’t right for me. And I’m fine with that.
ALEXIS
Are you? Or do you secretly dream of someday meeting your Prince Charming and having him sweep you off of your feet. It could happen if you would just lose the glasses and start caring.
JOANNA
Well I won’t lose the glasses and I don’t care. Any guy who I would ever even consider wouldn’t care about the fact that I have bad eyesight. In fact, he wouldn’t care about how I look at all. He would like me for me.
ALEXIS
Keep dreaming. That kind of guy doesn’t exist Joanna.
JOANNA
And that’s exactly why I’m not trying. Plus, I find that I can concentrate on school so much better when I don’t have any distractions. And that’s really all that guys are…distractions.
(The timer goes off and Joanna pulls the pan out of the oven)
Perfect. Now let’s eat so that I can get back over to the library. I have a huge test tomorrow.
Lights fade slowly, End Scene.
Scene 4
In the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS is in the living room waiting for EVERETT to come over. She has been seeing him for a few weeks now and they kissed for the first time the night before.
EVERETT
(Knocks on the door and enters stage left)
ALEXIS
(Jumps up and gives EVERETT a hug)
Hey there you!
EVERETT
Hi! How are you doing tonight?
ALEXIS
Great, and how about you?
(Poking EVERETT in the stomach)
You’re looking hot by the way.
EVERETT
(Awkwardly)
I’m doing good.
ALEXIS
Great! So what do you want to do tonight? We could watch a movie or go bowling or…do you have any ideas?
EVERETT
I was actually thinking that we could work on homework. I’ve been meaning to get your help on a big paper that I’m working on. I-
ALEXIS
(Interrupting EVERETT quickly)
Let’s not do homework tonight. We can do it tomorrow. Let’s have fun tonight. Last night was so much fun so let’s keep the fun going.
EVERETT
We can have fun after I get this done. It’s due Thursday and I’m stuck. I can’t figure out the right words for some of these sentences.
ALEXIS
Ok, Ok…let’s just get it done quick then.
EVERETT
Thanks.
(Pulls a paper out of his backpack and sits down)
Ok, so I have this sentence and I just can’t find the right word to describe how I felt when I saw the play. I really didn’t like it. It made me feel disgusted and angry at the same time. I figured that since you are better with words that you could think of something.
ALEXIS
That’s easy…it was bad.
EVERETT
Bad? I was hoping for a more descriptive, longer word. Bad just sounds, well, bad.
ALEXIS
Well I don’t know then, can’t you figure this out later? It’s not like you are going to get a bad grade from what words you use. So who really cares?
EVERETT
Isn’t English all about what words you use? I thought you liked this stuff anyways. Why are you majoring in English if you don’t even like it?
JOANNA
(Enter stage left and walk quickly through the apartment, exiting stage right)
EVERETT
You have a roommate?
ALEXIS
Kind of, her name’s Joanna. She’s just never around because she’s always busy studying. I don’t even know if I really consider her a roommate. She’s hopeless. Her whole life has been wasted away on stupid books. See, I don’t want to end up like her. So let’s have fun while we can. We can always work later.
EVERETT
(Frustrated)
Fine, it’s obvious you don’t want to help right now, so what do you want to do?
ALEXIS
(Not sincerely)
We can do your paper if you really want to…
EVERETT
(Still frustrated)
No, it’s fine. I will just finish it tomorrow by myself.
ALEXIS
Ok! Let’s go bowling.
EVERETT
Fine.
(glances back in the direction of Joanna as he and ALEXIS exit stage left.)
End Scene.
Scene 5
The library. JOANNA and several other students are at cubicles studying. EVERETT enters stage right. He looks around for a cubicle, spots JOANNA, and walks over to her.
EVERETT
(Whispering)
Hi!
JOANNA
(Surprised, looks up from her book)
Hello? Do I know you?
EVERETT
No, not really. I was at your apartment the other night. I saw you, but we didn’t really meet-
JOANNA
(Hurriedly)
I was really tired.
EVERETT
Oh, I definitely understand how that is. Don’t worry about it. My name’s Everett.
(Offers JOANNA his hand to shake)
JOANNA
(Shakes EVERETT’s hand)
Joanna.
(Blush’s then looks like she has just remembered something disappointing)
Oh, Everett! You’re Alexis’s boyfriend.
EVERETT
Oh, did she tell you that I was her boyfriend? I guess so.
JOANNA
(Looking back at her book)
Well, it was nice to meet you. She talks about you all the time, but if you don’t mind I have a lot of work to do.
EVERETT
Oh, well I better let you do that then, but sometime when you have a free minute, we should get coffee or something.
JOANNA
(Looking up at EVERETT, confused)
What?
EVERETT
(Sarcastically)
Coffee. It’s a drink.
JOANNA
(Coldly)
I know what coffee is.
EVERETT
I knew you did. I was just clarifying, sorry.
JOANNA
(Turning away)
Oh, well I just don’t think I can. I’m really busy all of the time and you are dating Alexis anyways. Trust me, I shouldn’t. And you shouldn’t ask me to, Alexis would be repulsed if she knew you had asked me to get coffee.
EVERETT
(Triumphantly)
Repulsed!
JOANNA
(Looking up at him, shocked)
What?
EVERETT
Oh, sorry, it’s just the perfect word for this sentence in a paper I am trying to write. Thanks!
(writes the word on the back of his hand)
JOANNA
(Looks bewildered)
EVERETT
I need to remember that. Oh, and about the coffee. You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. I was just trying to give you a break from all of your work. And besides, until Alexis discusses with me whether I am her boyfriend or not, I don’t think she can tell me who I can or can’t go get coffee with. But, I’ll leave that decision up to you.
(slides a strip of paper with his number into her book)
Just in case you change your mind.
(Exit stage right)
End Scene.
Scene 6
Back at the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS and EVERETT are on the couch cuddling and talking. JOANNA enters stage left. EVERETT quickly moves away from ALEXIS.
JOANNA
Hi Alexis, Everett.
ALEXIS
(Sarcastically)
Wow, you are home? What a surprise! We should have a party?
(Laughs)
Oh, and how do you know Everett?
EVERETT
We ran into each other the other day at the library.
ALEXIS
Oh, well I hope you don’t need the living room tonight Joanna, because we are hanging out here.
JOANNA
No I won’t need it. In fact, I’ll be leaving soon to study some more. I just came home to grab something.
(Exit stage right)
ALEXIS
(To Everett)
Now, where were we?
(Pause for a moment, realizing something)
Why did you stop cuddling with me as soon as she came in?
EVERETT
(Blushing)
I didn’t know that I did. Sorry.
ALEXIS
(Skeptically)
Ok, well I have to go to the little girls’ room. I’ll be back in just a minute. Don’t go anywhere.
(Exit stage right)
JOANNA
(Enter stage right)
EVERETT
Hi!
JOANNA
Hi. I have to go study.
(Walk quickly toward the door)
EVERETT
Ok, well have a good night. And the offer still stands to get coffee sometime you know.
JOANNA
(Facing Everett, coldly)
Oh does it? It seems to me that you have let Alexis know that you are her boyfriend. Unless you cuddle with all of your friends?
EVERETT
No, I guess we are dating, but I just don’t see it going anywhere. Can I trust you to not tell Alexis something if I tell you?
JOANNA
Sure, she doesn’t ever let me get a word in anyways.
EVERETT
Ok, well when I first met Alexis, I thought she was really cool, but I’m finding out that she’s not at all the person I thought she was. And there’s this other girl - I just don’t think Alexis and I are going to work out.
ALEXIS
(Enter stage right, angrily)
We aren’t going to work out? When did this happen, and when were you planning on telling me? After you told my roommate I guess? Ya know what? You’re right. We aren’t going to work out. You can leave now. Oh, and by the way, you are totally lame. I thought someday that maybe your good looks would get a personality, but, well that didn’t happen.
(Flips her hair and exits stage right)
EVERETT
Well I think that’s my cue to leave, take care Joanna. Sorry I upset your roommate.
(Brushes JOANNA’s hand as he leaves. Exit stage left)
JOANNA
(Blushes)
ALEXIS
(Enter stage right)
Is he gone? Good. When did you two get so close?
JOANNA
We didn’t. We’ve only talked the one time at the library.
ALEXIS
Whatever, people don’t just spill their feelings to someone they met one time at the library. Whatever though. Ya know what? I don’t even care.
JOANNA
(Pleading)
Alexis, please don’t be like this. I’m sorry he broke up with you, but it wasn’t my fault. I promise. He said there was another girl.
ALEXIS
(Pauses for a second, looking at Joanna)
No, it is you. He broke up with me for you. I can’t believe this. It was so obvious. He moved away from me today when you walked in. He totally likes you.
JOANNA
(Nervously)
No he doesn’t. You said it yourself, no guy is going to like me until I start caring. Well, I don’t care.
ALEXIS
And he likes you anyways. I guess your kind of dream man does exist. Wow, he seems to have fallen for you, glasses and all.
JOANNA
(Timidly)
Well I won’t date him if it will make you mad. And he’s not my dream man. I don’t even know him.
ALEXIS
(Laughs)
Are you kidding me? You have to date him. You aren’t ever going to have another chance. Seriously, you must be insane. You two are perfect for each other. I should have seen it before. And besides I really don’t care for him, and he likes you. So go for it. Seriously, I want you to. You guys would be totally cute together.
JOANNA
You really want me to?
ALEXIS
Yes! Gosh, you don’t have to keep asking. Here, let me give you his number. You should call him right now and tell him to get back over here.
JOANNA
(Pulls the slip of paper out of her pocket)
I already have it. He gave it to me the other day at the library.
ALEXIS
He did? And you didn’t pick up on it then?
(Laughs)
Well I’m happy for you. But you know, he is going to be a distraction.
JOANNA
He sure is, but I think I can use a good distraction right now.
The End
A college apartment in Utah. A door stage left leads into a living room. The kitchen and bathroom also show on stage. A hall leads off stage right. Two college roommates, Alexis and Joanna live in this apartment. It is the year 2006 at the beginning of the school year. Lights come up on ALEXIS who is in the apartment now, looking for something.
ALEXIS
(Searching the bathroom)
Joanna! Did you borrow my eyeliner again? I can’t find it…Joanna!
(Exits the bathroom, looking around the apartment)
Where did she go? She’s never around when I need her. I don’t even know why she borrows my eyeliner. No one can see her eyes behind those huge, ugly glasses.
JOANNA
(Enter stage left)
ALEXIS
There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for my eyeliner. Did you take it again?
JOANNA
Did you check the second drawer down in the bathroom where you left it yesterday?
ALEXIS
Of course I did, I’m not stupid.
JOANNA
Well I didn’t take it, so I’m sorry but I guess you will just have to keep looking.
(Exit stage left)
ALEXIS
(Sarcastically)
Thanks for the help. I don’t know why she even comes home at all if she is just going to leave again. I swear, she doesn’t even live here anymore. I wonder when she’ll just move out completely and start staying at the library permanently, building a house out of her precious books. I don’t know how she studies as much as she does. I would think she would be going insane by now. I do know that she’s never going to find a guy if she keeps acting like this. Not that any guy would see beyond her glasses anyways. If she would just try…
(Wander into the bathroom and open the second drawer. Shake head while pulling out the eyeliner and beginning to apply it)
Lights Fade slowly. End Scene.
Scene 2
A college classroom on the first day of school. The PROFESSOR is writing on the board. Students are chatting. ALEXIS is sitting next to EVERETT.
ALEXIS
(To Everett)
Hi, I’m Joanna.
EVERETT
(Looking at Joanna, smiling)
Everett.
ALEXIS
Are you a freshman?
EVERETT
No, I just have to take this class because my advisor forgot to mention that I needed it to graduate. I only have a few classes left this semester before I’m done.
ALEXIS
(Flirting)
Oh, I didn’t think you were a freshman. You are way too cute to be a freshman. I’m not one either.
EVERETT
Oh cool, what’s your major?
ALEXIS
(Pause for a moment, thinking. Hesitantly)
Ummm..it’s...English?
EVERETT
Are you sure about that?
(Laughs)
But your major is English? That’s rough. I can’t stand English. I want to teach high school math.
ALEXIS
Math? Eeeeeew. I hate math! But maybe you can tutor me… I have a math class this semester.
EVERETT
Oh really? Which one?
ALEXIS
1010, I just have to get it done so I can get my generals out of the way.
EVERETT
Well, I can definitely help you with that class.
(Laughs)
But only if you help me with English.
ALEXIS
(Hands Everett a piece of pink paper)
Anytime, here’s my number. Call me if you want to hang out sometime. Oh, and if you need help with English.
PROFESSOR
(Turning to face the class)
I hope everyone got the notes. Have a good day. I’ll see you all on Wednesday.
All students exit stage right. End Scene.
Scene 3
Back in the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS and JOANNA are in the kitchen. JOANNA is cooking dinner. ALEXIS is sitting on a bench by the table talking on her cell phone.
ALEXIS
(On the phone)
Oh my gosh…I know…I know! Ok sweetie well I will see you tomorrow. Take care and tell that boyfriend of yours that he better be nice to you.
(Laughs)
Love ya! Bye!
(To Joanna)
Oh my gosh Joanna, you have to hear about my day. So I met this guy in my communications class and he is so cute. He’s graduating this year and wants to teach math. Can you believe that? I think he’s crazy, but he is so dang cute and he said he would tutor me in math if I helped him with English!
JOANNA
(Putting a pan in the oven)
English? I didn’t know that you liked English. I thought you hated it last semester.
ALEXIS
I do, but I told him I was an English major because I didn’t want to sound stupid and tell him that don’t know what I want to do. I know the basics. I mean all that you have to do is put words on paper with little marks right! He is just so cute. I couldn’t help it.
JOANNA
Well good luck with that. You really should tell him that you aren’t an English major before you make a fool of yourself. I’m sure he would rather know the truth, and besides, you don’t want to make yourself look stupid in front of him, right?
ALEXIS
Ouch. I can be smart when I want to be. I just choose to have fun instead of trying to get smart all the time. But in a case like this, it’s the only option I have for hanging out with an adorable guy. I can be smart for that. And besides Joanna, I won’t need to be super book smart when I get married. Then I will have a husband to support me and will only have to worry about making my house all cute.
JOANNA
Well have you ever thought that there is the possibility you might not get married? It is a possibility you know. I’m not married yet and I’m 28. I’m working on my PhD because I have realized that getting married just isn’t right for me. And I’m fine with that.
ALEXIS
Are you? Or do you secretly dream of someday meeting your Prince Charming and having him sweep you off of your feet. It could happen if you would just lose the glasses and start caring.
JOANNA
Well I won’t lose the glasses and I don’t care. Any guy who I would ever even consider wouldn’t care about the fact that I have bad eyesight. In fact, he wouldn’t care about how I look at all. He would like me for me.
ALEXIS
Keep dreaming. That kind of guy doesn’t exist Joanna.
JOANNA
And that’s exactly why I’m not trying. Plus, I find that I can concentrate on school so much better when I don’t have any distractions. And that’s really all that guys are…distractions.
(The timer goes off and Joanna pulls the pan out of the oven)
Perfect. Now let’s eat so that I can get back over to the library. I have a huge test tomorrow.
Lights fade slowly, End Scene.
Scene 4
In the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS is in the living room waiting for EVERETT to come over. She has been seeing him for a few weeks now and they kissed for the first time the night before.
EVERETT
(Knocks on the door and enters stage left)
ALEXIS
(Jumps up and gives EVERETT a hug)
Hey there you!
EVERETT
Hi! How are you doing tonight?
ALEXIS
Great, and how about you?
(Poking EVERETT in the stomach)
You’re looking hot by the way.
EVERETT
(Awkwardly)
I’m doing good.
ALEXIS
Great! So what do you want to do tonight? We could watch a movie or go bowling or…do you have any ideas?
EVERETT
I was actually thinking that we could work on homework. I’ve been meaning to get your help on a big paper that I’m working on. I-
ALEXIS
(Interrupting EVERETT quickly)
Let’s not do homework tonight. We can do it tomorrow. Let’s have fun tonight. Last night was so much fun so let’s keep the fun going.
EVERETT
We can have fun after I get this done. It’s due Thursday and I’m stuck. I can’t figure out the right words for some of these sentences.
ALEXIS
Ok, Ok…let’s just get it done quick then.
EVERETT
Thanks.
(Pulls a paper out of his backpack and sits down)
Ok, so I have this sentence and I just can’t find the right word to describe how I felt when I saw the play. I really didn’t like it. It made me feel disgusted and angry at the same time. I figured that since you are better with words that you could think of something.
ALEXIS
That’s easy…it was bad.
EVERETT
Bad? I was hoping for a more descriptive, longer word. Bad just sounds, well, bad.
ALEXIS
Well I don’t know then, can’t you figure this out later? It’s not like you are going to get a bad grade from what words you use. So who really cares?
EVERETT
Isn’t English all about what words you use? I thought you liked this stuff anyways. Why are you majoring in English if you don’t even like it?
JOANNA
(Enter stage left and walk quickly through the apartment, exiting stage right)
EVERETT
You have a roommate?
ALEXIS
Kind of, her name’s Joanna. She’s just never around because she’s always busy studying. I don’t even know if I really consider her a roommate. She’s hopeless. Her whole life has been wasted away on stupid books. See, I don’t want to end up like her. So let’s have fun while we can. We can always work later.
EVERETT
(Frustrated)
Fine, it’s obvious you don’t want to help right now, so what do you want to do?
ALEXIS
(Not sincerely)
We can do your paper if you really want to…
EVERETT
(Still frustrated)
No, it’s fine. I will just finish it tomorrow by myself.
ALEXIS
Ok! Let’s go bowling.
EVERETT
Fine.
(glances back in the direction of Joanna as he and ALEXIS exit stage left.)
End Scene.
Scene 5
The library. JOANNA and several other students are at cubicles studying. EVERETT enters stage right. He looks around for a cubicle, spots JOANNA, and walks over to her.
EVERETT
(Whispering)
Hi!
JOANNA
(Surprised, looks up from her book)
Hello? Do I know you?
EVERETT
No, not really. I was at your apartment the other night. I saw you, but we didn’t really meet-
JOANNA
(Hurriedly)
I was really tired.
EVERETT
Oh, I definitely understand how that is. Don’t worry about it. My name’s Everett.
(Offers JOANNA his hand to shake)
JOANNA
(Shakes EVERETT’s hand)
Joanna.
(Blush’s then looks like she has just remembered something disappointing)
Oh, Everett! You’re Alexis’s boyfriend.
EVERETT
Oh, did she tell you that I was her boyfriend? I guess so.
JOANNA
(Looking back at her book)
Well, it was nice to meet you. She talks about you all the time, but if you don’t mind I have a lot of work to do.
EVERETT
Oh, well I better let you do that then, but sometime when you have a free minute, we should get coffee or something.
JOANNA
(Looking up at EVERETT, confused)
What?
EVERETT
(Sarcastically)
Coffee. It’s a drink.
JOANNA
(Coldly)
I know what coffee is.
EVERETT
I knew you did. I was just clarifying, sorry.
JOANNA
(Turning away)
Oh, well I just don’t think I can. I’m really busy all of the time and you are dating Alexis anyways. Trust me, I shouldn’t. And you shouldn’t ask me to, Alexis would be repulsed if she knew you had asked me to get coffee.
EVERETT
(Triumphantly)
Repulsed!
JOANNA
(Looking up at him, shocked)
What?
EVERETT
Oh, sorry, it’s just the perfect word for this sentence in a paper I am trying to write. Thanks!
(writes the word on the back of his hand)
JOANNA
(Looks bewildered)
EVERETT
I need to remember that. Oh, and about the coffee. You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. I was just trying to give you a break from all of your work. And besides, until Alexis discusses with me whether I am her boyfriend or not, I don’t think she can tell me who I can or can’t go get coffee with. But, I’ll leave that decision up to you.
(slides a strip of paper with his number into her book)
Just in case you change your mind.
(Exit stage right)
End Scene.
Scene 6
Back at the girls’ apartment. ALEXIS and EVERETT are on the couch cuddling and talking. JOANNA enters stage left. EVERETT quickly moves away from ALEXIS.
JOANNA
Hi Alexis, Everett.
ALEXIS
(Sarcastically)
Wow, you are home? What a surprise! We should have a party?
(Laughs)
Oh, and how do you know Everett?
EVERETT
We ran into each other the other day at the library.
ALEXIS
Oh, well I hope you don’t need the living room tonight Joanna, because we are hanging out here.
JOANNA
No I won’t need it. In fact, I’ll be leaving soon to study some more. I just came home to grab something.
(Exit stage right)
ALEXIS
(To Everett)
Now, where were we?
(Pause for a moment, realizing something)
Why did you stop cuddling with me as soon as she came in?
EVERETT
(Blushing)
I didn’t know that I did. Sorry.
ALEXIS
(Skeptically)
Ok, well I have to go to the little girls’ room. I’ll be back in just a minute. Don’t go anywhere.
(Exit stage right)
JOANNA
(Enter stage right)
EVERETT
Hi!
JOANNA
Hi. I have to go study.
(Walk quickly toward the door)
EVERETT
Ok, well have a good night. And the offer still stands to get coffee sometime you know.
JOANNA
(Facing Everett, coldly)
Oh does it? It seems to me that you have let Alexis know that you are her boyfriend. Unless you cuddle with all of your friends?
EVERETT
No, I guess we are dating, but I just don’t see it going anywhere. Can I trust you to not tell Alexis something if I tell you?
JOANNA
Sure, she doesn’t ever let me get a word in anyways.
EVERETT
Ok, well when I first met Alexis, I thought she was really cool, but I’m finding out that she’s not at all the person I thought she was. And there’s this other girl - I just don’t think Alexis and I are going to work out.
ALEXIS
(Enter stage right, angrily)
We aren’t going to work out? When did this happen, and when were you planning on telling me? After you told my roommate I guess? Ya know what? You’re right. We aren’t going to work out. You can leave now. Oh, and by the way, you are totally lame. I thought someday that maybe your good looks would get a personality, but, well that didn’t happen.
(Flips her hair and exits stage right)
EVERETT
Well I think that’s my cue to leave, take care Joanna. Sorry I upset your roommate.
(Brushes JOANNA’s hand as he leaves. Exit stage left)
JOANNA
(Blushes)
ALEXIS
(Enter stage right)
Is he gone? Good. When did you two get so close?
JOANNA
We didn’t. We’ve only talked the one time at the library.
ALEXIS
Whatever, people don’t just spill their feelings to someone they met one time at the library. Whatever though. Ya know what? I don’t even care.
JOANNA
(Pleading)
Alexis, please don’t be like this. I’m sorry he broke up with you, but it wasn’t my fault. I promise. He said there was another girl.
ALEXIS
(Pauses for a second, looking at Joanna)
No, it is you. He broke up with me for you. I can’t believe this. It was so obvious. He moved away from me today when you walked in. He totally likes you.
JOANNA
(Nervously)
No he doesn’t. You said it yourself, no guy is going to like me until I start caring. Well, I don’t care.
ALEXIS
And he likes you anyways. I guess your kind of dream man does exist. Wow, he seems to have fallen for you, glasses and all.
JOANNA
(Timidly)
Well I won’t date him if it will make you mad. And he’s not my dream man. I don’t even know him.
ALEXIS
(Laughs)
Are you kidding me? You have to date him. You aren’t ever going to have another chance. Seriously, you must be insane. You two are perfect for each other. I should have seen it before. And besides I really don’t care for him, and he likes you. So go for it. Seriously, I want you to. You guys would be totally cute together.
JOANNA
You really want me to?
ALEXIS
Yes! Gosh, you don’t have to keep asking. Here, let me give you his number. You should call him right now and tell him to get back over here.
JOANNA
(Pulls the slip of paper out of her pocket)
I already have it. He gave it to me the other day at the library.
ALEXIS
He did? And you didn’t pick up on it then?
(Laughs)
Well I’m happy for you. But you know, he is going to be a distraction.
JOANNA
He sure is, but I think I can use a good distraction right now.
The End
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Dialogue | Marjorie Riches
Annette stared around the empty room. She looked at the little blue clock on the wall which had its crooked hands marking 1:20. It had been 1:19 the last time that she had checked it; time just wouldn’t move. Why wasn’t he home? He had promised that he would be home early this time.
John had been coming home later and later every night from his job at the law firm. He always said that he was swamped with work, but Annette no longer knew what to believe. Tonight he had promised that he would be home in time to help her put the kids to bed, clean up that house, do all of the thing that are neglected in a house where both parents work and one of them doesn’t get home until 1 am. Something wasn’t right.
Annette sighed and decided that it was time for her to try to get some sleep. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to, but it was worth a try; she had to at least try. She got up from the chair she had been sitting at in the kitchen, waiting, and began to walk slowly into the bedroom down the hall. Just then, the front door creaked quietly open and was shut softly behind a man with dark circles under his eyes and a grim, stern face. John was home.
“Where have you been?” Annette whispered coldly. She felt like screaming at him, but didn’t want to wake the children. It had been hard enough getting them to sleep the first time.
“Out,” John replied. The sound of that one, plain word was enough to make Annette want to vomit. He hadn’t even been working. He had just been out, out with some floozy no doubt.
“Out?” she threw back at him angrily.
“That’s right.”
“I thought we talked about this kind of thing,” Annette cried out in exasperation.
“We have,” he replied bluntly. There was no hint of emotion in his voice.
“And –"
“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Tension was growing in the room between the two who had once been so in love.
“I’m just trying to figure out what happened,” Annette whispered, her voice softening and tears filling her tired eyes.
“Go ahead.” Again, a blunt, sarcastic reply.
“That doesn’t help… You said you would help at least…” he had promised that he would help her to understand what was going on at the firm so that she would never feel that he didn’t love her, that he didn’t care. It was obvious now that that promise had been long forgotten.
John thought for a moment then shrugged his shoulders and said, “Sure.”
“Ok,” Annette threw her hands in the air as she spoke, “That’s what I’m talking about.” She reached for her jacket off of the hook that it was placed so carefully on.
“What’s what you’re talking about?” John’s voice began to crack. He was getting worried.
“That I just can’t deal with this kind of…” Her voice trailed as she looked at him. He had begun pacing around the room. It was certain now. He was nervous, and he only got nervous when he had done something terribly wrong. “Forget it,” she mumbled.
“What?” A thin layer of sweat was gathering on his brow.
“Forget it.” Annette began making her way to the door. John was looking at her as though he were puzzled at why she would go. If he couldn’t figure it out himself then they had nothing more to talk about. “Nothing, I’m leaving.” She replied to his raised eyebrow. She opened the door quickly. This was it. She was finally freeing herself from her awful marriage, from her husband who didn’t love her anymore. She wished that she didn’t still love him.
“Don’t…” It was a faint whisper, but he had still said it. He had shown some sign that he still cared. It wasn’t enough though.
“Well?” she was waiting for some huge apology that she knew would never happen, but if he said anything more, anything kind or at least caring, anything to show her that he still cared she may be willing to give him another chance. She still had her back to him with the door held wide open. She couldn’t bear look at the stern face that she had gotten so used to over the past few months. It used to be so gentle and full of life, but all of that was gone now.
“Just don’t go…” His voice was gentle, wavering, and filled with the deepest kind of sorrow. She turned around and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes and they were staring at her, pleading.
“No?” She was surprised to her that her voice was gentle as well.
“No,” came the plead again.
Annette wanted to rush to him, to embrace him and tell him all of the things that she had been longing to for so long, but she restrained herself. Instead she softly closed the door, walked over to the table and handed John the tissue box. This was good enough for him. His expression softened and the tears slowly faded away.
Annette made her way to the bedroom with John following right behind her. They hadn’t slept in the same bed in so long. She laid down on her side of the bed without saying a word and felt it sway as his body crept in beside her. Then, to her utter shock, she felt warm, strong arms embracing her; holding her as though they would never let go. He was back, her sweet husband was back, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
John had been coming home later and later every night from his job at the law firm. He always said that he was swamped with work, but Annette no longer knew what to believe. Tonight he had promised that he would be home in time to help her put the kids to bed, clean up that house, do all of the thing that are neglected in a house where both parents work and one of them doesn’t get home until 1 am. Something wasn’t right.
Annette sighed and decided that it was time for her to try to get some sleep. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to, but it was worth a try; she had to at least try. She got up from the chair she had been sitting at in the kitchen, waiting, and began to walk slowly into the bedroom down the hall. Just then, the front door creaked quietly open and was shut softly behind a man with dark circles under his eyes and a grim, stern face. John was home.
“Where have you been?” Annette whispered coldly. She felt like screaming at him, but didn’t want to wake the children. It had been hard enough getting them to sleep the first time.
“Out,” John replied. The sound of that one, plain word was enough to make Annette want to vomit. He hadn’t even been working. He had just been out, out with some floozy no doubt.
“Out?” she threw back at him angrily.
“That’s right.”
“I thought we talked about this kind of thing,” Annette cried out in exasperation.
“We have,” he replied bluntly. There was no hint of emotion in his voice.
“And –"
“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Tension was growing in the room between the two who had once been so in love.
“I’m just trying to figure out what happened,” Annette whispered, her voice softening and tears filling her tired eyes.
“Go ahead.” Again, a blunt, sarcastic reply.
“That doesn’t help… You said you would help at least…” he had promised that he would help her to understand what was going on at the firm so that she would never feel that he didn’t love her, that he didn’t care. It was obvious now that that promise had been long forgotten.
John thought for a moment then shrugged his shoulders and said, “Sure.”
“Ok,” Annette threw her hands in the air as she spoke, “That’s what I’m talking about.” She reached for her jacket off of the hook that it was placed so carefully on.
“What’s what you’re talking about?” John’s voice began to crack. He was getting worried.
“That I just can’t deal with this kind of…” Her voice trailed as she looked at him. He had begun pacing around the room. It was certain now. He was nervous, and he only got nervous when he had done something terribly wrong. “Forget it,” she mumbled.
“What?” A thin layer of sweat was gathering on his brow.
“Forget it.” Annette began making her way to the door. John was looking at her as though he were puzzled at why she would go. If he couldn’t figure it out himself then they had nothing more to talk about. “Nothing, I’m leaving.” She replied to his raised eyebrow. She opened the door quickly. This was it. She was finally freeing herself from her awful marriage, from her husband who didn’t love her anymore. She wished that she didn’t still love him.
“Don’t…” It was a faint whisper, but he had still said it. He had shown some sign that he still cared. It wasn’t enough though.
“Well?” she was waiting for some huge apology that she knew would never happen, but if he said anything more, anything kind or at least caring, anything to show her that he still cared she may be willing to give him another chance. She still had her back to him with the door held wide open. She couldn’t bear look at the stern face that she had gotten so used to over the past few months. It used to be so gentle and full of life, but all of that was gone now.
“Just don’t go…” His voice was gentle, wavering, and filled with the deepest kind of sorrow. She turned around and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes and they were staring at her, pleading.
“No?” She was surprised to her that her voice was gentle as well.
“No,” came the plead again.
Annette wanted to rush to him, to embrace him and tell him all of the things that she had been longing to for so long, but she restrained herself. Instead she softly closed the door, walked over to the table and handed John the tissue box. This was good enough for him. His expression softened and the tears slowly faded away.
Annette made her way to the bedroom with John following right behind her. They hadn’t slept in the same bed in so long. She laid down on her side of the bed without saying a word and felt it sway as his body crept in beside her. Then, to her utter shock, she felt warm, strong arms embracing her; holding her as though they would never let go. He was back, her sweet husband was back, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
The Double (Revised Again) | Marjorie Riches
Everyone loves double dates. Who wouldn’t? Getting together as friends or couples always makes for a good time. The atmosphere is low key and there is someone of the same sex to bounce ideas off of. The women have someone to have "potty parties" with so they are able to gossip and fix their hair and makeup and make sure that their shirt is fitting just the way they want it to. Double dates are just great.
Tonight I went on one such date with my good friend John and the two lovely ladies we met at the club last night. I live in Vegas, the city of lights, and sometimes I just want toget away from all of the glamour, and the gambling, and the downright crap that goes on. But I can't. No one can. Once you are in Vegas you are stuck in the swirl of the hazy drunken social life and besides where would I go, Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at.
As I was saying, I went on a double date tonight; my date’s name was Jessica. Her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight--I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a short, blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women?
John and I had decided ahead of time to take our lovely ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that we are made of money, because we most definitely are not. John and I always decide where we are going to go before we go on dates (which we do quite often) and we base this off of where we think the date will end up. If we think we have a future with the women, we will take them to a place like where we were going tonight, nice but not too nice. If we knew that they were trashy and didn’t care if the food they were eating had been rubbed on the floor and spat in before it reached them, we didn’t waste our money and went to a crap hole. If the dates were hot, and high maintenance and we knew that we would get some action from them but no relationship, we would spend a little more and go all out; a little money is well worth the action. But tonight, John thought he might have a future with Heather.
The ride to the restaurant was pleasant enough, although no one but John was talking at all. He was going a million miles an hour. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting, dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. He always did this.
My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side of the car, as far away from each other as physically possible. If I had been slightly interested in her it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but he always gets nervous when he is alone with a woman. It’s not like me being there made it any better though, which was unfortunate for all of us. I felt bad for him. John is a really great guy, but he sucks at being anything other than clinically insane around women. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him which was farther than he usually got.
We arrived at the restaurant and I could see the great relief on everyone’s faces. Restaurants give you something to talk about: the menu, the drinks, or the ridiculous people that are always seated right across from you talking so loudly that you can hear every word. We were seated upstairs by an older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. I was sure that they would be very interesting.
Our waiter was an extremely energetic man --too energetic. I couldn't figure out if he was gay or not. He walked like it with his hips swaying displaying his disgusting buttocks like it was some kind of trophy. He talked like it, and he even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he was gay; there was just one thing. He had a wedding ring on. Now I know it’s legal in some states for gay marriage, but I had no way of knowing for sure. I decided that I would just avoid being too friendly which he made difficult by bouncing around and catering to our every need. One thing is for sure, I am straight as a whistle. I do not fraternize with homos.
We ordered our meals after a few minutes of looking over the menu. Both girls ordered salads (no surprise there) while us men ordered real food. I'm not a big salad eater, or exerciser, or stay in shape kind of person. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed, unlike my date who looks as though she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her incredibly showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still go out and have a little fun. Not too fat, not too thin, that’s the way I like them. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger she is a good cook, and that is very important to me.
After we ordered our food, John continued to rant about who knows what. To his own demise the atmosphere didn't change at all from what it had been in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things-- not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I’m a nice guy though so I always think about my friends feelings first. Right then I was thinking that John had already hung himself and that he absolutely did not have a future with this girl. So I looked my date right in the face and said it.
"So how long have you had the disease?"
She looked at me, confused. "Excuse me?"
"The disease -you know- anorexia," I said blatantly. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered,” I continued, “Your kind never do. You order it, make the poor man you are using that night pay for it, pick at it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She looked furious, Heather shocked, and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew exactly where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us of course, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. I was right. Moments later my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me.
"I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And with that she stormed off. Heather took her cue and quickly stood up, giving us a look that couldn’t scare a field mouse, and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing.
"You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder. We had a good chuckle over the night’s events and stayed at the restaurant for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now, I wholeheartedly believe that someday John and I are both going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back just us boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
Tonight I went on one such date with my good friend John and the two lovely ladies we met at the club last night. I live in Vegas, the city of lights, and sometimes I just want toget away from all of the glamour, and the gambling, and the downright crap that goes on. But I can't. No one can. Once you are in Vegas you are stuck in the swirl of the hazy drunken social life and besides where would I go, Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at.
As I was saying, I went on a double date tonight; my date’s name was Jessica. Her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight--I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a short, blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women?
John and I had decided ahead of time to take our lovely ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that we are made of money, because we most definitely are not. John and I always decide where we are going to go before we go on dates (which we do quite often) and we base this off of where we think the date will end up. If we think we have a future with the women, we will take them to a place like where we were going tonight, nice but not too nice. If we knew that they were trashy and didn’t care if the food they were eating had been rubbed on the floor and spat in before it reached them, we didn’t waste our money and went to a crap hole. If the dates were hot, and high maintenance and we knew that we would get some action from them but no relationship, we would spend a little more and go all out; a little money is well worth the action. But tonight, John thought he might have a future with Heather.
The ride to the restaurant was pleasant enough, although no one but John was talking at all. He was going a million miles an hour. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting, dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. He always did this.
My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side of the car, as far away from each other as physically possible. If I had been slightly interested in her it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but he always gets nervous when he is alone with a woman. It’s not like me being there made it any better though, which was unfortunate for all of us. I felt bad for him. John is a really great guy, but he sucks at being anything other than clinically insane around women. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him which was farther than he usually got.
We arrived at the restaurant and I could see the great relief on everyone’s faces. Restaurants give you something to talk about: the menu, the drinks, or the ridiculous people that are always seated right across from you talking so loudly that you can hear every word. We were seated upstairs by an older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. I was sure that they would be very interesting.
Our waiter was an extremely energetic man --too energetic. I couldn't figure out if he was gay or not. He walked like it with his hips swaying displaying his disgusting buttocks like it was some kind of trophy. He talked like it, and he even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he was gay; there was just one thing. He had a wedding ring on. Now I know it’s legal in some states for gay marriage, but I had no way of knowing for sure. I decided that I would just avoid being too friendly which he made difficult by bouncing around and catering to our every need. One thing is for sure, I am straight as a whistle. I do not fraternize with homos.
We ordered our meals after a few minutes of looking over the menu. Both girls ordered salads (no surprise there) while us men ordered real food. I'm not a big salad eater, or exerciser, or stay in shape kind of person. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed, unlike my date who looks as though she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her incredibly showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still go out and have a little fun. Not too fat, not too thin, that’s the way I like them. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger she is a good cook, and that is very important to me.
After we ordered our food, John continued to rant about who knows what. To his own demise the atmosphere didn't change at all from what it had been in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things-- not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I’m a nice guy though so I always think about my friends feelings first. Right then I was thinking that John had already hung himself and that he absolutely did not have a future with this girl. So I looked my date right in the face and said it.
"So how long have you had the disease?"
She looked at me, confused. "Excuse me?"
"The disease -you know- anorexia," I said blatantly. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered,” I continued, “Your kind never do. You order it, make the poor man you are using that night pay for it, pick at it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She looked furious, Heather shocked, and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew exactly where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us of course, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. I was right. Moments later my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me.
"I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And with that she stormed off. Heather took her cue and quickly stood up, giving us a look that couldn’t scare a field mouse, and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing.
"You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder. We had a good chuckle over the night’s events and stayed at the restaurant for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now, I wholeheartedly believe that someday John and I are both going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back just us boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
The Double (Revised) | Marjorie Riches
Everyone loves double dates. Who wouldn’t? Getting together as friends or couples always makes a good time. The atmosphere is low key and you have someone of the same sex to bounce ideas off of. The women have someone to have "potty parties" with so they are able to go gossip and fix their hair and makeup and make sure that their shirt is fitting just the way they want it to. Double dates are just great.
Tonight I went on one such date with my good friend John and the two lovely ladies we met at the club last night. I live in Vegas, the city of lights, and sometimes I just want toget away from all of the glamour, and the gambling, and the downright crap that goes on. But I can't. No one can. Once you are in Vegas you are stuck in the swirl of the hazy drunken social life and besides where would I go, Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at.
So as I was saying, I went on a double date tonight. My date’s name was Jessica and her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight--I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a short, blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women.
John and I had decided ahead of time to take our lovely ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that are made of money, because we most definitely are not. John and I always decide where we are going to go before we go on dates (which we do quite often) and we base this off of where we think the date will end up. If we think we have a future with the women, we will take them to a place like where we were going tonight, nice but not too nice. If we knew that they were trashy and didn’t care if the food they were eating had been rubbed on the floor and spat in before it reached them, we didn’t waste our money and went to a crap hole. If the dates were hot, and high maintenance and we knew that we would get some action from them but no relationship, we would spend a little more and go all out. A little money was worth the action. But tonight, John thought he might have a future with Heather.
The ride to the restaurant was pleasant enough, although no one but John was talking at all. He was going a million miles an hour. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting, dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. He always did this.
My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side of the car, as far away from each other as physically possible. If I had been slightly interested in her it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but he always gets nervous when he is alone with a woman. It’s not like me being there made it any better though, which was unfortunate for all of us. I felt bad for him. John is a really great guy. He just sucks at being anything but clinically insane around women. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him which was farther than he usually got.
We arrived at the restaurant and I could see the great relief in everyone’s faces. At restaurants there is always something to talk about whether it is the menu, or the drinks, or the ridiculous people that are always seated right across from you talking so loudly that you can hear every word. We were seated upstairs by an older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. I was sure that they would be very interesting.
Our waiter was an extremely energetic man --too energetic. I couldn't figure out if he was gay or not. He walked like it with his hips swaying displaying his disgusting buttocks like it was some kind of trophy. He talked like it, and he even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he wasgay; there was just one thing. He had a wedding ring on. Now I know it’s legal in some states for gay marriage, but I had no way of knowing for sure. I decided that I would just avoid being too friendly which he made difficult by bouncing around and catering to our every need. One thing is for sure, I am straight as a whistle. I do not fraternize with homos.
We ordered our meals after a few minutes of pouring over the menu. Both girls ordering salads (no surprise there) while us men ordered real food. I'm not a big salad eater, or exerciser, or stay in shape kind of person in any sense of it. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. Unlike my date who looks as though she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her incredibly showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still have a little fun if you know what I mean. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger she is a good cook, and that is very important to me.
After we ordered our, which I was looking forward to very much, John continued to rant about who knows what. To his own demise the atmosphere didn't change at all from what it had been in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things. Not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I always think about my friends feelings first of course, and right then I was thinking that John had already hung himself and that he did not have a future with this girl.
So I looked my date right in the face and said it. "So how long have you had the disease?"
She looked at me, confused. "Excuse me?"
"The disease, you know, anorexia," I said blatantly. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered. Your kind never do. You order it, make the poor man you are using that night pay for it, don't touch it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She looked furious, her friend shocked, and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew exactly where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us of course, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. I was right. Moments later, my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me.
"I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And with that she stormed off. Heather took her cue and quickly stood up, giving John and I a look that couldn’t scare a field mouse, and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing.
"You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder.
We had a good chuckle over the night’s events and stayed at the restaurant for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now I wholeheartedly believe that someday John and I are both going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back as just the boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
Tonight I went on one such date with my good friend John and the two lovely ladies we met at the club last night. I live in Vegas, the city of lights, and sometimes I just want toget away from all of the glamour, and the gambling, and the downright crap that goes on. But I can't. No one can. Once you are in Vegas you are stuck in the swirl of the hazy drunken social life and besides where would I go, Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at.
So as I was saying, I went on a double date tonight. My date’s name was Jessica and her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight--I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a short, blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women.
John and I had decided ahead of time to take our lovely ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that are made of money, because we most definitely are not. John and I always decide where we are going to go before we go on dates (which we do quite often) and we base this off of where we think the date will end up. If we think we have a future with the women, we will take them to a place like where we were going tonight, nice but not too nice. If we knew that they were trashy and didn’t care if the food they were eating had been rubbed on the floor and spat in before it reached them, we didn’t waste our money and went to a crap hole. If the dates were hot, and high maintenance and we knew that we would get some action from them but no relationship, we would spend a little more and go all out. A little money was worth the action. But tonight, John thought he might have a future with Heather.
The ride to the restaurant was pleasant enough, although no one but John was talking at all. He was going a million miles an hour. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting, dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. He always did this.
My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side of the car, as far away from each other as physically possible. If I had been slightly interested in her it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but he always gets nervous when he is alone with a woman. It’s not like me being there made it any better though, which was unfortunate for all of us. I felt bad for him. John is a really great guy. He just sucks at being anything but clinically insane around women. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him which was farther than he usually got.
We arrived at the restaurant and I could see the great relief in everyone’s faces. At restaurants there is always something to talk about whether it is the menu, or the drinks, or the ridiculous people that are always seated right across from you talking so loudly that you can hear every word. We were seated upstairs by an older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. I was sure that they would be very interesting.
Our waiter was an extremely energetic man --too energetic. I couldn't figure out if he was gay or not. He walked like it with his hips swaying displaying his disgusting buttocks like it was some kind of trophy. He talked like it, and he even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he wasgay; there was just one thing. He had a wedding ring on. Now I know it’s legal in some states for gay marriage, but I had no way of knowing for sure. I decided that I would just avoid being too friendly which he made difficult by bouncing around and catering to our every need. One thing is for sure, I am straight as a whistle. I do not fraternize with homos.
We ordered our meals after a few minutes of pouring over the menu. Both girls ordering salads (no surprise there) while us men ordered real food. I'm not a big salad eater, or exerciser, or stay in shape kind of person in any sense of it. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. Unlike my date who looks as though she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her incredibly showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still have a little fun if you know what I mean. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger she is a good cook, and that is very important to me.
After we ordered our, which I was looking forward to very much, John continued to rant about who knows what. To his own demise the atmosphere didn't change at all from what it had been in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things. Not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I always think about my friends feelings first of course, and right then I was thinking that John had already hung himself and that he did not have a future with this girl.
So I looked my date right in the face and said it. "So how long have you had the disease?"
She looked at me, confused. "Excuse me?"
"The disease, you know, anorexia," I said blatantly. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered. Your kind never do. You order it, make the poor man you are using that night pay for it, don't touch it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She looked furious, her friend shocked, and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew exactly where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us of course, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. I was right. Moments later, my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me.
"I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And with that she stormed off. Heather took her cue and quickly stood up, giving John and I a look that couldn’t scare a field mouse, and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing.
"You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder.
We had a good chuckle over the night’s events and stayed at the restaurant for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now I wholeheartedly believe that someday John and I are both going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back as just the boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Not Invisible | Marjorie Riches
Have you ever walked into a fancy art studio and felt as though you are invisible? In fact, it doesn't even have to be an art studio, just some store where only rich people can afford to shop. You know that you aren't going to buy anything, but it is fun to see the 100 dollar shirts. You probably saw the same one at Wal-Mart the day before marked down to five dollars. But rich people don't need to shop at Wal-Mart. they can buy the expensive shirt and still have a ton of money to spare, not that they should be donating to charity or anything like that. Anyways, to get back on subject, I enjoy going to art studios just to look at the beautiful paintings. I would never buy any of them, there is no way that I could afford them. I can barely afford my rent as it is. But I go, and I don't care that I am invisible to all of the men in suits who are just waiting for the right customer, the rich one, to come in. I am not now, nor ever will be that customer. My husband and I are both going to be teachers...so no art is in our future. But maybe we will not always be invisible. One evening, the evening of my first wedding anniversary in fact, my husband and I decided to dress up in nice clothes and go out in Vegas. I wore a beautiful teal evening gown. it hugged my curves and made me look like I had the perfect body. It also had just the right touch of sparkle to make me feel glamorous and classy. My husband wore a blck suit with a tie that matched my gown. We decided on this wonderful evening, that while we were waiting for a table to open up at the restaraunt we chose, we would tour an art studio. It was the studio of the artist who paints beautiful beach and water scenes. He is very famous and I'm sure you would recognize his work if you saw it. It is always on school folders and the covers of notebooks, making kids beg for the pretty ones instead of the cheap ones with plain colors that are so much cheaper. I can't remember the artists name, but I have always had an attraction to the ocean, not so much the dolphins and whales. I'm not a big animal art person, but I do love the waves and the sky and beautiful beaches. My mom is from Hawaii so I have always been attracted to this kind of place. We entered the studio and as soon as we passed through the door, a man in a suit approached us. I thought that this was very odd. I had always been invisible, and it's not like I was any richer then than I was the day before. In fact, I was going to be a lot poorer as soon as we had our dinner. But he approached us anyways, because we looked richer and he decided to take us on a tour of the studio. He told us about every painting, told us about the artist who he explained as, "the rockstar surfer guy". Then, to our utter shock, he introduced us to the artist who just happened to be in town. We shook hands with him, told him his work was beautiful and then he was ushered off into a crowd of women who were giggling like they really were meeting a rockstar. Well our suited man asked us if we enjoyed the studio as we made a b-line toward the door. He then proceded to ask us if we wanted to take anything home tonight. My husband, who is always quick witted said, "I'll give you a dollar for this one," and pointed to one of the biggest paintings on the wall. The man laughed nervously and my husband gave a shrug and said, "Can't give you much more than that and the lint in my pocket. So, do we have a deal?" The man looked disgusted and muttered, "I'm sorry sir" as he walked hurriedly away. We laughed, knowing that he had thought for sure that we would buy something and had wasted all of his time showing hoolagins around the studio. It had been fun to walk through a studio with a guide who thought that we were something. It was fun to not be invisible, but what had been even more fun was to watch the look on the man's face as he discovered that we had decieved him, and were actually broke as a joke.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Imperfection | Marjorie Riches
Isn't fear a funny little thing. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it and won't go away. But why are we afraid? Why are we afraid that someone may see us trip as we are walking. Why are we afraid that someone might not like the way we talk, or stand, or twirl our hair around our finger when we get board. Why are we afraid that someone won't like something that we have created. Why do we fear what others think of us? Because we are human. For the human race, fear will always be a part of life. Fear of others, fear of the boogie man, even fear of ourselves. Have you ever looked deep inside your mind and thought that you are a horrible person? Have you ever thought that if anyone really knew what was going on as the wheels creak around inside of your head that everyone would hate you? I have. In fact, I think it all of the time. Sometimes I even fear that I am insane and that no one has noticed yet, but that one day in the not too distant future, i will do something that will send me straight to the loony bin. Is it horrible that I wouldn't be surprised if this happened to me? I live a normal life. In fact, I live a great life. I have a wonderful, caring, supportive husband. I have wonderful parents who raised me in a wonderful church that gives me hope and something to believe in as this world goes to crap. I am going to college, soon to graduate and get a house and start my family. Everything in my life seems to be in order and perfect to the outside viewer. Somehow, my mind doesn't see it this way. Now don't get me wrong. I do think that I have a great life. In fact, I know that I have a great life. I love my husband very deeply and love the way my life is going. But then the insanity kicks in and nothing is right. Suddenly everything is out of order. I am not a good enough wife. I am not the perfect daughter. I'm not the best flute player, the best student, the best person and it drives me crazy. I am a perfectionist. I have to be perfect at everything I do and that is simply not possible. I can say this out loud, even think that I believe it, but acting on it is an entirely different story. Sometimes I hate myself because I'm not perfect. I don't think that I deserve to live because I'm not perfect. Sometimes I get so deep into these dark thoughts that everything in my wonderful life disappears. I become all alone, alone with my imperfections. Alone in every way. I want to scream. I want to throw things and tell everyone, "Look at me! I'm a horrible person!" I want people to tear me apart on the outside the way I do on the inside. I want to feel the pain that burns inside my body on the outside. Maybe then the pain on the inside would be silenced. I warned you that I was insane. I'm working on it though. I am seeing a counseler and trying to learn how to confront myself. It's not as easy as it sounds, but I know that it has to happen. I know that it has to happen so that I can be happy on the inside, not just in my glowing smile that everyone sees. I have learned to put on a good mask though. It hides me from everyone but me.
Rambles | Marjorie Riches
I have always been a person who enjoys to write. I will write anything, from my own little musings to serious essays that could change the world. Unfortunately, I do not love to write all of the time. In fact, it is more often than not that I hate writing and could care less if I ever did it again. Then there are those times when I get a tingling sensation in my mind. An idea grows and I have to write. I will put my whole life on hold just to get my thoughts down on paper. During those times, writing is the best thing in the world to me. I sometimes wish that I had those moments more often, but then I think about it and decide that those moments wouldn't be so special to me if they happened all of the time. they would become routine and then they may not ever happen again, all because I wanted to have them more often.
I have no patience. i don't think that I was born with this "virtue" and it definately has not grown in me over time. In fact, even if I was born with a tiny bit of patience, it is all long gone now. I want to see results of my actions immediately. I admire people who have patience. My husband is one of them and he is trying to rub it off on me. All of his attempts are going into the big black hole that sucks up all of the things that I want to be, but never will be. I will never be patient. Writers have to be patient. They have to accept the fact that a book is going to take a long time to write, and that after it is written, it may be forever before anyone ever reads it, then it will have to be edited, reworked, and on and on. I cannot be this kind of writer. If you are this kind of writer, you are amazing, but as for me, I'm just mediocre. I have no patience and only get that tingling that makes me want to write once in a blue moon. During these blue moons, I write in short spurts. I love poetry because I can get it out of my system and done with. Then, if it sucked, I never have to look at it again, and if I liked it, I will put it in my book of poems that I one day plan to type up and give to my mom for Christmas. I have been planning this for years now and it hasn't happened. The act of typing and binding makes me cringe. It's work, that takes time.
As you may have guessed from all of my pointless rambling, I have no desire to be published. I was published once, back in elementary school when I entered my poems into contests. All that getting published did for me was give me a big head. I thought that when I got to high school and was getting ready to graduate and try to find scholarships, that i would still win every poetry contest that came my way. And now they weren't just for fun, they were for money. I entered lots of poems and none of them one. This is where my lack of patience came in. I kind of just gave up after that and I haven't wanted to be published since. I've decided that I write for me, not for contests, not for stupid classes that force me to write when I really don't want to, for me. Writing is something so personal that often I don't care if anyone ever reads my work. I know its there, and I think it's beautiful. That's all that really matters.
I have no patience. i don't think that I was born with this "virtue" and it definately has not grown in me over time. In fact, even if I was born with a tiny bit of patience, it is all long gone now. I want to see results of my actions immediately. I admire people who have patience. My husband is one of them and he is trying to rub it off on me. All of his attempts are going into the big black hole that sucks up all of the things that I want to be, but never will be. I will never be patient. Writers have to be patient. They have to accept the fact that a book is going to take a long time to write, and that after it is written, it may be forever before anyone ever reads it, then it will have to be edited, reworked, and on and on. I cannot be this kind of writer. If you are this kind of writer, you are amazing, but as for me, I'm just mediocre. I have no patience and only get that tingling that makes me want to write once in a blue moon. During these blue moons, I write in short spurts. I love poetry because I can get it out of my system and done with. Then, if it sucked, I never have to look at it again, and if I liked it, I will put it in my book of poems that I one day plan to type up and give to my mom for Christmas. I have been planning this for years now and it hasn't happened. The act of typing and binding makes me cringe. It's work, that takes time.
As you may have guessed from all of my pointless rambling, I have no desire to be published. I was published once, back in elementary school when I entered my poems into contests. All that getting published did for me was give me a big head. I thought that when I got to high school and was getting ready to graduate and try to find scholarships, that i would still win every poetry contest that came my way. And now they weren't just for fun, they were for money. I entered lots of poems and none of them one. This is where my lack of patience came in. I kind of just gave up after that and I haven't wanted to be published since. I've decided that I write for me, not for contests, not for stupid classes that force me to write when I really don't want to, for me. Writing is something so personal that often I don't care if anyone ever reads my work. I know its there, and I think it's beautiful. That's all that really matters.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The Island | Marjorie Riches
My family and I went fishing one day in Valdez Alaska. It was my mom, my dad, my cousin Miranda and her husband Todd, their two big rotwieler dogs, and me. We took out two different boats so that we would be able to carry more fish. Valdez is on the coast of Alaska and is a great place for deep sea fishing. So we fished and we fished and we fished. We didn't stop fishing until about six in the evening. We had all caught a ton of fish. Now, I don't know how much you know about gutting fish, but we all knew that you can't gut fish in salt water. Unfortunately this presented a problem, we were in the ocean and it was all Salt Water. So we rode around in the boats for a little while until we found a little island that had a freshwater stream running through it. My dad said that this would be a perfect place to gut the fish. So we gutted and we gutted, until all of the fish were cleaned out and ready to cook. We then walked back to our boats and found them on their sides, with nothing but land surrounding them. The tide had gone out while we were gutting, leaving us stranded on this island. These weren't little boats either, they were huge so there was no way we could push them to the water. We were stuck and it was starting to get dark. We decided to build a fire and thought that it would be kind of fun to have a little campout on the beach...with no tent, or way to keep warm, or food. We were all fine though until we saw them. Little glowing eyes in the woods next to the stream where we had gutted our fish. Great, there were bears on the island. All of a sudden our little campout didn't seem so fun. We stayed around the campfire though because if there is one thing that hates people as much as we hate them, it's bears. They also hate noise so my mom, being the positive woman that she is, suggested that we start singing camp songs. The bears disappeared for a while and we sat singing songs by the fire. Eventually we ran out of songs to sing and there was a lull in our conversations. My cousin and I fell asleep while everyone else sat quietly talking. I opened my eyes a while later to hear a hush. Everyone had fallen asleep. The fire was still burning dimly. I looked out in the forest and saw beady eyes staring back at me, glowing by the light of the fire. I could barely get it out, but I managed to yell, "BEARS!" and woke everyone up. The dogs that were with us took off and jumped in the boat. So much for brave rotwielers. I was quick to follow their lead however, and so was everyone else. We all decided that camping out in the boats was a better idea than camping on the beach. So we sat in the boats and waited and waited for the tide to come in. It was pitch black by the time it finally did and we all wanted nothing more than to get back to our warm beds. So we set out. Each boat had a spotlight and a GPS system so that we could find our way back to the dock easily. It was freezing cold as the arctic water sprayed up on the boat and we tore through the ocean. We could see Miranda and Todd's boat beside us. Then, all of a sudden they were gone. We slowed down and stopped our boat, turning around to look for them. They were nowhere to be seen. We decided that they must have gotten ahead of us, but they had a GPS and light so they would be fine. We started up again and were going along at a speedy pace when my dad mumbled quietly, the GPS just went out. Great, I knew now that we were either going to freeze to death or hit something and die. We would never find our way back. Just then in the distance we saw a light! We all thought the same thing, it must be the dock! So we sped away toward it. My mom, who was holding the spotlight, suddenly yelled really loudly "ROCKS!" My dad made a sharp turn and I thought that the boat was going to flip, but we avoided the rocks and we didn't flip. The light turned out to be a lighthouse. We drove around for w hile longer and eventually saw several lights that we knew had to be shore. We were finally right. When we got there, Todd and Miranda were freaking out. They had no idea where we had disappeared off to. But we were all safe and went to sleep as soon as we got back to our home. If we survived that night, we knew that we could survive anything.
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Double | Marjorie Riches
Double dates can be lots of fun, getting together as friends or as couples always makes a good time. The atmosphere is more low key when you are doubling and you have someone of the same sex to bounce ideas off of while the women have "potty parties" and go and gossip about us. Tonight I went on a double with my good friend John and two lovely ladies we had met at the club the night before. I live in Vegas, the "city of lights", and sometimes I just want to
get away from it all, but I can't. Where am I supposed to go...Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at. As I was saying,I went on a double date tonight. My dates name was Jessica and her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight. I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women. John and I had decided ahead of time to take the ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that are made of money, because we aren't. The ride to the restaraunt was nice, although no one but John was talking at all. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side, as far away from each other as possible. If I had been slightly interested in her, it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but got nervous when he was alone with a woman. Not that me being there made that any better. I felt bad for him. John was a really great guy. He just sucked at being anything but insane around a woman. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him, that was farther than he usually got. We arrived at the restaraunt and I could see the relief in everyones faces. At restaraunts you always have something to talk about. Whether it is the menu, or the drinks, or the funny people all around you. We were seated upstairs by a older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. Our waiter was an extremely energetic man. I couldn't quite tell if he was gay or not. He walked like it, talked like it, and even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he should
have been gay, except that he had a wedding ring on his finger. I decided it was a cover up. I definately wouldn't be friendly to him at all. I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea. I am straight as a whistle. We ordered our meals, both girls ordering salads while us men ordered real food. As you can tell, I'm not a big salad eater, or excerciser, or stay in shape kind of person in any sense of it. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. I don't look like my date who looks like she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still do all of the things that healthy people do. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger, she is a good cook, and that is very important to me. After we ordered, John continued to rant about who knows what and the atmosphere didn't change much at all from the mood in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things. Not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I always think about my friends first of course, and right then I was thinking about how much of a fool John was making of himself and that he really didn't need to be put through this torture any longer. So I said it. "So how long have you had the disease?" My date looked at me, confused, "Excuse me?" "The disease, you know, anorexia." I said blatently. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered. Your kind never do. You arder it, make the men pay for it, don't touch it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She was looking furious, her friend shocked and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. And I was right. Moments later, my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me, "I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And she stormed off. Her friend quickly stood up, gave us both a look that I think she thought was mean and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing. "You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder. We had a good chuckle over the night and stayed at the restaraunt for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now I know someday John and I both are going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back as just the boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
get away from it all, but I can't. Where am I supposed to go...Utah? Ha. I'll stay where I'm at. As I was saying,I went on a double date tonight. My dates name was Jessica and her shirt was hanging off of her like a window drape, barely keeping the light out. I knew she had done it for me, wanting me to see what I had the chance to get tonight. I wasn't impressed. John's date was somewhat less scantily clad, a blonde girl named Heather. I could tell from the way that he wouldn't stop talking that he must like her a lot. I couldn't say that she felt the same way, but hey, who can read women. John and I had decided ahead of time to take the ladies to the Cheesecake Factory. It was nice, but not nice enough to tell them that are made of money, because we aren't. The ride to the restaraunt was nice, although no one but John was talking at all. I don't even think he knew what he was talking about. I heard something about radios and a couple of minutes later he was going off about airplanes. I wondered if he realized that no one was listening to him and his date was staring at him like he was a rotting dead fish. I laughed to myself at his stupidity. My date and I were in the backseat of John's Chevy Malibu. We were sitting on either side, as far away from each other as possible. If I had been slightly interested in her, it would have made this whole date thing easier, but I wasn't. I was only on this date because John really liked this girl, but got nervous when he was alone with a woman. Not that me being there made that any better. I felt bad for him. John was a really great guy. He just sucked at being anything but insane around a woman. This girl had at least agreed to go on a date with him, that was farther than he usually got. We arrived at the restaraunt and I could see the relief in everyones faces. At restaraunts you always have something to talk about. Whether it is the menu, or the drinks, or the funny people all around you. We were seated upstairs by a older couple who hadn't quite reached the 1970s yet. Our waiter was an extremely energetic man. I couldn't quite tell if he was gay or not. He walked like it, talked like it, and even held his hand up in front of his chest when he was talking. On all counts he should
have been gay, except that he had a wedding ring on his finger. I decided it was a cover up. I definately wouldn't be friendly to him at all. I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea. I am straight as a whistle. We ordered our meals, both girls ordering salads while us men ordered real food. As you can tell, I'm not a big salad eater, or excerciser, or stay in shape kind of person in any sense of it. I am pleasantly plump and proud of it. I enjoy my food the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. I don't look like my date who looks like she has been anorexic for some time now.
Maybe that's why I wasn't impressed by her showy top. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. I like her to show that she likes to eat, but that she can still do all of the things that healthy people do. Plus, I know that if a woman is a little bigger, she is a good cook, and that is very important to me. After we ordered, John continued to rant about who knows what and the atmosphere didn't change much at all from the mood in the car. I was getting bored. When I get bored, I do things. Not normal things, but things that are risky and will get me in a little trouble. I always think about my friends first of course, and right then I was thinking about how much of a fool John was making of himself and that he really didn't need to be put through this torture any longer. So I said it. "So how long have you had the disease?" My date looked at me, confused, "Excuse me?" "The disease, you know, anorexia." I said blatently. She looked appalled and didn't give me the courtesy of an answer. "Don't try to tell me that you were actually going to eat the salad you ordered. Your kind never do. You arder it, make the men pay for it, don't touch it, then run off and see how much skinnier you got from starving yourself another night." She was looking furious, her friend shocked and John like he had just discovered electricity. He knew where I was going with this. You see, when I know that a date is going poorly, for both of us, I throw a twist in things and see how long it will take the girls to leave so that we can kick back and have a beer. I figured these girls wouldn't be hard to bust. And I was right. Moments later, my date, looking like a donkey had kicked her in the face, stood up, shoved her seat back and glared at me, "I am NOT anorexic. You are just saying that because you are fat." And she stormed off. Her friend quickly stood up, gave us both a look that I think she thought was mean and followed. When they were safely out of earshot, John burst out laughing. "You've never tried that one before...fatty." And he punched me in the shoulder. We had a good chuckle over the night and stayed at the restaraunt for an hour or so more, just drinking and laughing at the look on that girl's face. Moments like that are priceless. Now I know someday John and I both are going to meet wonderful women and fall in love, but until then, kicking back as just the boys and having a beer is better than any double date.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Bitter Storm | Marjorie Riches
Bitter storm clouds fill the hardened sky
Threatening to pour down their anger on the quiet valley beneath
Threatening, but not yet acting on their lewd impulse
Instead waiting for the perfect moment to cry out and frighten the sleeping child,
The perfect moment to let weary tears flow.
All is silent, pensive.
In an instant, beams of light break through the clouds
Pouring out comfort and peace on all beneath.
Heavens beams shoot through the darkened sky.
A lone raven appears from nowhere and flies into the light
Embracing the warmth of the sun before returning to his secret lair in the sky.
The clouds close in,
Choking out the sunlight with their billowy flesh.
All is dark once more.
All is silent.
The perfect moment has arrived.
The clouds let all of their anguish flow out into the valley.
Peace is gone.
Threatening to pour down their anger on the quiet valley beneath
Threatening, but not yet acting on their lewd impulse
Instead waiting for the perfect moment to cry out and frighten the sleeping child,
The perfect moment to let weary tears flow.
All is silent, pensive.
In an instant, beams of light break through the clouds
Pouring out comfort and peace on all beneath.
Heavens beams shoot through the darkened sky.
A lone raven appears from nowhere and flies into the light
Embracing the warmth of the sun before returning to his secret lair in the sky.
The clouds close in,
Choking out the sunlight with their billowy flesh.
All is dark once more.
All is silent.
The perfect moment has arrived.
The clouds let all of their anguish flow out into the valley.
Peace is gone.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Ally | Marjorie Riches
As I navigated my way to the shortest line that I could find at Wal Mart, I ended up in the self checkout behind two elderly people, a little girl, and a baby. The little girl stared at me for a minute, her big blue eyes opened wide, curious. The intensity of her stare broke me, and I smiled at her. I gave her my biggest, goofiest smile and she smiled back. Her smile was cute, and the way she wrinkled her nose when she smiled seemed mysterious to me. While we smiled back and forth, the baby in the cart in front of her started to cry. She whinced for a moment and it was abvious that this was her baby sister and that she was used to that cry. She was used to the whining of the little girl, yet the look in her eyes showed that she hated it. It showed that she had forgotten about the time when she was a baby and could only communicate through whimpering cries. The little girl looked up at me suddenly, as if remembering that I was still standing there, staring at her, in awe of how cute her little face was. "Hi" she said to me in a high, sweet voice, "What's your name?" I barely had time to answer when she cut in, "Mine's Ally." She emphasized her name as though it should be the most important thing that I would hear in that day, maybe in the entire week. Ally was a special name. She was Ally and she was special. She was important. "How old are you Ally?" I asked and I saw the elderly woman who had been sliding groceries across the scanner look at me inquisitively. I wanted to tell her, "Listen lady, I'm not a child molester, I'm just talking to the little girl because she talked to me." It's funny how the world today has made everyone so nervous. I don't think that I'm an edgy looking person, but you can't be too careful about who you trust. The elderly woman must have sized me up and decided that I was ok because she looked away, seeming to give me approval to talk to the little girl. "I'm two" Ally chimed in. Two year olds are fun, I reminded myself. I have always enjoyed playing with two year olds, they are so excited about life, so ready for anything that comes your way. So inquisitive about all of the little things going on in the world. I decided to ask Ally if she was having fun and she looked at me like I was insane. "No." She replied, completely blowing my question out of the water. I thought two year olds always had fun shopping. I laughed to myself as the elderly man started pushing the cart with little Ally in it away from the checkout counter. She waved to me as she left and I was left with my own thoughts. I hoped that wherever Ally went next that she would be have some fun. I wanted to run after her and tell her, you are only two once, enjoy it while it lasts, be a kid while you can, cry for everything that you want while you still can. Just enjoy life while you are young...childhood runs away so quickly.
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