Rambles | Marjorie Riches

I have always been a person who enjoys to write. I will write anything, from my own little musings to serious essays that could change the world. Unfortunately, I do not love to write all of the time. In fact, it is more often than not that I hate writing and could care less if I ever did it again. Then there are those times when I get a tingling sensation in my mind. An idea grows and I have to write. I will put my whole life on hold just to get my thoughts down on paper. During those times, writing is the best thing in the world to me. I sometimes wish that I had those moments more often, but then I think about it and decide that those moments wouldn't be so special to me if they happened all of the time. they would become routine and then they may not ever happen again, all because I wanted to have them more often.
I have no patience. i don't think that I was born with this "virtue" and it definately has not grown in me over time. In fact, even if I was born with a tiny bit of patience, it is all long gone now. I want to see results of my actions immediately. I admire people who have patience. My husband is one of them and he is trying to rub it off on me. All of his attempts are going into the big black hole that sucks up all of the things that I want to be, but never will be. I will never be patient. Writers have to be patient. They have to accept the fact that a book is going to take a long time to write, and that after it is written, it may be forever before anyone ever reads it, then it will have to be edited, reworked, and on and on. I cannot be this kind of writer. If you are this kind of writer, you are amazing, but as for me, I'm just mediocre. I have no patience and only get that tingling that makes me want to write once in a blue moon. During these blue moons, I write in short spurts. I love poetry because I can get it out of my system and done with. Then, if it sucked, I never have to look at it again, and if I liked it, I will put it in my book of poems that I one day plan to type up and give to my mom for Christmas. I have been planning this for years now and it hasn't happened. The act of typing and binding makes me cringe. It's work, that takes time.
As you may have guessed from all of my pointless rambling, I have no desire to be published. I was published once, back in elementary school when I entered my poems into contests. All that getting published did for me was give me a big head. I thought that when I got to high school and was getting ready to graduate and try to find scholarships, that i would still win every poetry contest that came my way. And now they weren't just for fun, they were for money. I entered lots of poems and none of them one. This is where my lack of patience came in. I kind of just gave up after that and I haven't wanted to be published since. I've decided that I write for me, not for contests, not for stupid classes that force me to write when I really don't want to, for me. Writing is something so personal that often I don't care if anyone ever reads my work. I know its there, and I think it's beautiful. That's all that really matters.